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In my opinion having faith is to believe in the unbelievaable. Science seems to think that if you cannot prove that soemthing exists then automatically it doesn't. To me if it were so easy to prove God existed then there would be no need for faith. I think it is only a natural Human reaction to question things but sometimes we need to take that leap. As a person with schizophrenia faith has given alot of hope during some pretty tough times and of course the art helps.
It seems to me that society tends to acknowledge those with Schizophrenia who have achieved some form of success. The only example I can think of off the top of my head is John Nash the brilliant mathematician. In my opinion those who deserve to be held on a pedestal are those who suffer every single day of there lives, those who never give up despite having active symptoms. These are the people with Schizophrenia I look up to who I look to for inspiration.
I refuse to be a reflection of what tends to surround me. I hear people in my life saying things like "What is the point of being a good person if everyone else is being rotten?" In my opinion staying true to yourself no matter what is going on is to truly be you. Try not to let the ugliness of the World reflect in you. Do the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do!
When will it be ok for me to just be me? Why are we always defined but what we are doing or what we should be doing? I am good enough right where I am thank you very much! People always ask so what are you doing? Almost like we are defined in life by what job we hold and where we stand in society. Even these so called "Go Getters" are always looking to the future because where they are and what they currrently seem to be doing isnt good enough. I am happy to be a schizophrenic artist trying to make his way in the World humbly not always worrying about where I need to be or so called "should be" but realize I am right where I am at and that is just fine!
How easy it is to forget. Even for myself. I think in alot of cases it is scary to remember how far down the rabbit hole we have fallen as persons living with Schizophrenia and how difficult the struggle to find our way back is. I am often reminded when I see the forgotten souls not only on the streets but living next door to me. As a schizophrenic artist I feel it to be my moral obligation to try to al least be a voice for the less fortunate. I by no means am a hero and struggle myself to try to keep balance in my own life.
A lot of people want the label "Schizophrenia" to be eliminated, to rename an entire disease. I know for a lot of people this sounds like the answer. But as an advocate and someone who has struggled with this label for more than half of my life I have to say "No" this isn't the answer. I plan to help diminish the stigma in my lifetime. Changing the label would only give the ignorant people the power THIS IS OUR WORD!! Schizophrenia does not control my life but it is a huge part of it. By changing the Label we are saying "you win, we give up you". I am owning my Illness and want to represent those throughout history who have suffered in silence.
I am not going on any type of fundamental rant about religion here this doesn't even pertain to my art but like my art my thoughts and ideas flow and like my art I like to share my thoughts, I just happened upon the thought of people aging and what they attribute to there longevity. One elder person will say I had a glass of whiskey everyday and another will say I did the same routine everyday. I just find it to be arrogant of anyone to think that they are in control of their destiny. By my standards God is in control of our fate. The long of the short is the Secret to Life is......there is no secret!
"AT THE FOOT OF GOD" 8X10 ACRYLIC
I have often felt compelled to tell my story not really taking into account the fact that people without mental illness cannot truly understand the process. Coming to this conclusion was not easy but if you truly do not know what it is like to lose something like your mental health than I find it safe to assume you truly cannot understand. For example I just got over an extremely bad bout with depression, I finally have got on a medicine that works for me. it almost felt like being able to see again. Once I began to recover it was like" Wow life can be this good!" I was sick and depressed for so long I had forgotten what happiness felt like. I guess what I am trying to say is you can't be grateful for something you have never lost. This is so much more apparent with mental illness. Most of us can visually imagine not being able to see or walk to imagine the horror of psychosis or major depression is next to impossible for most. In a way I have had what I feel to be a new lease on life and I am going to try my best to use it.
Why do we live in a World we're being strong is somehow not accepting your feelings. I have to say that this is not only difficult for me as a person with Schizophrenia but as a man. We have to learn that it is ok to show vulnerability that it's not weak to do so it is strong. It takes alot more courage to say "Hey I need help!" or "Hey I can't handle this alone" As a man who believes in not only women's rights or men's rights I believe in Human rights. Maybe being more open with our feelings will allow the younger generation to come forward with their mental health concerns. Because face it we all have feelings and we are all Human. I wise man once said "No one is an island"
So many people's idea of beauty differs what is the old saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder?" But is it? We convince ourselves that we are not good enough the way we are. But in fact it is this Media Monster dictating what is beautiful and what is not. I truly believe there is not such thing as ugly. Being beautiful is to truly not let the ugliness of the World be a reflection of you.